eyes dropped.
“And don’t ask me to move yet.”
“Chelsea.”
“I’m not refusing Oregon. I’m refusing to be carried into it.”
***
Days later, he asked if I’d visit Oregon with him.
I said no.
“I’m refusing to be carried into it.”
Then I changed my mind, for me, not him.
“I’ll go,” I said. “But I’m going to decide what this move would cost us, not just what it could fix.”
***
Oregon annoyed me because I didn’t hate it.
I wanted Oregon to confirm every reason I had for saying no.
Instead, I liked the neighborhoods, the parks, even the bakery near our hotel.
Then I changed my mind.
And that scared me more than I expected.
Because if I liked it too, then Oregon wasn’t the problem.
The way Ben had chosen it without me was.
Ben caught me watching families cross the street with strollers and soccer bags.
