I almost deleted it.
Then one sentence caught my attention.
Beginning July 1, all homeowners will be required to provide HOA Security with one current spare key for emergency property access.
I read it twice.
Then a third time.
It did not become less absurd.
The explanation claimed Cedar Grove was implementing a neighborhood safety program.
Keys would supposedly be secured in a locked cabinet at the HOA office and accessed only during emergencies, welfare checks, suspected water leaks, fire risks, or “compliance related circumstances requiring immediate access.”
That last category told me everything.
Compliance related circumstances.
The HOA wanted house keys.
Not gate codes.
Not emergency contact information.
Keys to people’s homes.
I called Mark.
“Did you read the newsletter?”
“Yeah.”
“You giving them your key?”
A long pause.
“Elise wants to.”
“Why?”
“She says we have nothing to hide.”
“That is not the point.”
“I know.”
“Have you checked the bylaws?”
