an immediate emergency requiring otherwise. You don’t get to turn your anxiety into something she has to endure.”
“I know.”
“And we do not teach her that adults are allowed to say, ‘Don’t tell your mother,’ when they’re doing something involving her body.”
His face changed.
I think that was the first moment he understood why I’d been so terrified outside that bedroom.
He covered his face.
“Oh God.”
“Exactly.”
“I didn’t even think about how that sounded.”
“You needed to.”
He began crying.
“I’m sorry.”
I believed him.
But we still went to counseling.
Because good intentions can create dangerous lessons too.
The counselor said something that stayed with both of us:
A child doesn’t need to determine whether an adult’s secret is innocent before deciding whether to tell a trusted parent.
That’s too much responsibility to put on a child.
So we changed the rules in our house.
