You already have enough to carry.”
“That’s not your decision.”
“Sometimes it should be.”
“What does that even mean?”
He studied me for a second.
“If someone showed up tomorrow and needed help, you’d say yes before asking whether you could afford it.”
“That sounds like a compliment.”
“It scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because you never know when to let somebody else be the problem.”
At the time, I thought he deserved one part of his life where cancer—and I—weren’t constantly watching him.
So I stopped asking.
After he died, that became one of my first regrets.
Five weeks later, Jack’s condition deteriorated quickly.
Near the end, I sat beside him holding his hand.
“You look scared,” he whispered.
“So do you.”
“I’m allowed.”
“So am I.”
He almost smiled.
“You’ll be okay.”
“Don’t say that.”
“You will.”
“No, Jack.”
“Promise me you’ll keep going.”
“I don’t know how.”
“You’ll figure